Weekend with Lucy

 

 

It should have been a restful Saturday morning.  After a tough week at work, Abby always  looked forward to her weekends, and spent them catching up on books, movies and rest.  But not this weekend.  This weekend, her life was not her own.  It belonged to her four year old niece Lucy, and Lucy’s small, brand-new puppy, Bozo.  It was a measure of Abby’s love for her sister Claire that she had spent most of her time since they’d arrived cleaning up puddles, soothing whimpering and pouring odd-looking food into bowls.  And that was just for Lucy.

 

It was not possible to leave either of them alone for more than thirty seconds.  Bozo, who Abby was starting to think had some serious psychological issues, turned into a small, furry vandal if she took her eyes off him, and had already destroyed a potted plant, three magazines, a pair of panties from the laundry basket and half a sofa cushion.  He had also done untold damage to the bottom of the curtains in the lounge room, to a mat in the laundry (where Abby had foolishly attempted to shut him the night before), his expensive cane basket, and Abby’s nerves.

 

His efforts paled into insignificance beside Lucy’s, however.  Lucy, who had always seemed a delightfully precocious child before, had metamorphosed, on this, her first sleep-over with her Aunty Abby, into a small, demanding fascist with the sort of manipulative skills that would have put Machiavelli to shame and a vocabulary that made Abby wonder exactly what sort of kindergarten her niece was attending. 

 

“I don’t like honey,” Lucy was now saying.  “It’s shit.” 

“No it’s not,” Abby replied reasonably.  “It’s very nice.  And that’s not a nice word, Lucy.”
”Shit, shit, shit,” Lucy said defiantly.  She bounced down off her chair and took off for the living room.  “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” she sang-shouted as she ran. Bozo barked along in accompaniment, alternately snapping and falling over her feet as he ran with her, undoubtedly swearing in doggie language.  Abby sighed.  Lucy had honey all over her chubby little hands and there was no doubt at all that she would wipe those chubby little hands all over the sofa, the curtains, the carpet and anything else that could be permanently stained.  Abby had already decided that she was going to have to get cleaners in after this weekend.  Either that, or move.  And not tell her sister her new address.

 

She tidied up, listening constantly for any increase in noise that would indicate that Lucy and Bozo were turning on each other.  Not being a mother herself, and despite being twenty-eight, having had surprisingly little to do with children, she was not to know that silence was much more ominous than noise.  Consequently, it came as a very rude shock to her when she walked into her living room, her “loving Aunty smile” pasted on her face, and saw what had happened to the wallpaper and the lamp and almost all of the skirting board.  Abby took a deep breath.


”Where did you get the red crayon, Lucy?” she asked. 

“I brung it with me,” Lucy replied, her angelic little face beaming.  There was red crayon on her face, too.  And in her blonde hair.  “Mummy said I could make some special pictures for you.”
”What a nice idea,” Abby said, wondering how best to repay her sister.  “But for now, I need you to give Aunty Abby the crayons and to come with me so we can wash your hands and face.”

“I already washed my hands,” Lucy protested, horrified at the thought.  “Two times!”  Washing was not her favourite occupation.

“That was before you had breakfast,” Abby pointed out.  “And after you’d been to the toilet, remember? Now you have to wash them to get the crayon off.”  Lucy looked unconvinced.

 

“Bozo can come too,” Abby said, bending down to pick him up.  Tiny puppy teeth dug immediately into her fingertips and he wriggled around in her grasp.  She tucked him firmly under her arm.  He was a ten week old terrier, and he was not going to win.  Lucy, on the other hand, was made of tougher stuff.  Not wanting a repeat of the previous night, when she had foolishly carried Lucy in bodily and had been treated to a performance of betrayed tears for almost an hour afterwards, she bribed her in this time with two chocolate biscuits.  Bozo did his best to get them both, but Lucy did not share chocolate biscuits. 

 

Her niece’s hands and face washed and dried, Abby looked longingly at her shower cubicle.  Then she looked down, at the little girl and puppy playing happily on the bathroom floor.  Well, why not?  She shut the door and locked it.

“Aunty Abby is going to have a shower now,” she said.  Lucy smiled up at her, the model of a Botticelli angel.  Her big blue eyes were round and soft, rimmed by long, curling lashes.  Her pink cheeks had dimples in them.  Abby’s heart almost melted.  How could she have been thinking such nasty thoughts about such a lovely little girl?

 

“Are you going to get nuded?” Lucy asked.  Abby swallowed.

“Yes,” she said.  “So you just play with Bozo and I’ll be as quick as…”
”I’ve seen Daddy nuded,” Lucy said.  “He’s got a bigger willy than Joshua.”  Since Joshua was Lucy’s three month old baby brother, this was not a major endorsement for the endowments of Abby’s brother-in-law John. 

“He’s a lot taller than Joshua too,” Abby said tactfully.  She took off her thin summer dressing gown, went to hang it up, then decided not to.   “Do you want to look at the teddy bears on this, Lucy?”  Her niece smiled again and reached up for it.  The gown had tiny embroidered teddy bears all around the hem, and Lucy loved it.  This did not stop her from looking up as Abby pulled her nightie over her head, though.

 

“Daddy said you’ve got big knockers,” she said conversationally.  Abby’s hands went immediately over the objects in question.  Oh did he? 

“That’s not a nice word either,” she said, forgetting her earlier lesson in the kitchen.  “The proper name is “breasts”, Lucy.”
”Well Daddy told Mummy you have big knockers,” Lucy said defiantly.  “And he doesn’t know what’s wrong with the men you work with.”  Abby sighed as she stepped into the shower cubicle.  Honestly, if Claire and John didn’t stop trying to marry her off, she was going to kill them.  An alar
m bell went off in her head.  No, that wasn’t a good idea.  If she killed them, she, as guardian for their children, would end up with Lucy and Joshua.  And probably Bozo.  No, definitely not a good idea.

 

She looked out of the shower cubicle.

“It’s probably best if Bozo doesn’t eat that soap,” she said.  “It might make him sick.”
”But he likes it,” Lucy said, still holding it out to him, and giggling as the puppy’s soft fur tickled at her palm.  She looked up.  “You’re nuded,” she remarked, gazing with interest.  Abby withdrew into the shower cubicle quickly.  She didn’t like having an audience, but there was no way she was leaving the two little terrors outside on their own.  They’d destroy the house.

 

She had a much quicker shower than normal, quickly scrubbing the soap over her long limbs and slim curves.  And big knockers, she thought to herself.  John was going to pay for that.  She decided her shoulder-length blonde hair could survive another day without a wash, and she eschewed her usual shower gels and lotions.  She rubbed some cleanser onto her smooth face, washed it off and stepped out, reaching for the towel.  Lucy and Bozo both looked up, identical interest in blue eyes and brown eyes. 

 

“Good girl,” Abby smiled, mostly with relief.  All of the bathroom fixtures were still in place and Bozo hadn’t defecated anywhere.  Life was good.  She dried off fast, trying not to feel uncomfortable under the unwavering scrutiny of the two small creatures.  “Now, I’ll just get dressed, and…oh no!”  Bozo was making unmistakable gagging, retching noises. 

“How much soap did he eat, Lucy?” she asked, picking her dressing gown up off the floor and putting it on.  The tie for the gown had been lost a long time ago and it had no buttons, so she just wrapped it tightly round her as she scooped up the puppy, unlocked the door and ran. 

 

She made it to the back door just in time, opening it and almost throwing him out onto the grass, where he proceeded to vomit soap, bubbles and his breakfast in alarming quantities.

“Bozo!” Lucy squealed, trying to push past her aunt.

“He’ll be all right,” Abby said, hoping she was right.  Soap wasn’t poisonous, was it?  She held on to Lucy, motivated by visions of Bozo being sick all over the little girl’s pretty pyjamas, and of her having to wash them.

“Bozo!” Lucy wailed, wriggling to get free.  Abby sighed.  The puppy appeared to have stopped heaving. 

“Don’t touch the sick-up,” she said to her niece as she let her through.  Lucy bounded to Bozo, pulling him onto her lap and rocking him as she hugged the life out of him.

“I’ll just get him some water,” Abby said, turning back to the laundry sink to pick up his bowl. 

 

As she was turning the water off, she heard Lucy’s voice, from a lot further away than just outside the door.

“Hello,” she was saying.  Who was she talking to?”
”Hello,” said a man’s voice in reply.  Abby chewed her lip.  It was Rob Harper, her next-door neighbour.  Her new next-door neighbour who had asked her out for a pizza the week before and asked her out again this weekend.  Her new next-door neighbour who she’d said no to on both occasions because she didn’t need the complication of a relationship right now.  Particularly not with someone who lived right next door.  Particularly not in that house. 

 

“What’s your name?” Rob asked.

“Lucy,” she replied.  “What’s yours?”  Abby could hear every word through the open door.
”I’m Rob,” he said.  “And what’s that fellow’s name?”
”He’s Bozo,” Lucy said proudly.  “Bozo just throwed up.”
I saw that,” Rob said. 

“Aunty Abby throwed him out the door first,” Lucy said bitterly.

“I saw that too,” Rob replied.  Abby blinked, looked down.  Her robe, no longer held closed by her arms, was gaping open.  It had been closed when she opened the door and put Bozo out, hadn’t it?  Oh sweet heaven, she hoped so.

 

“He ate soap,” Lucy said.

“That’ll do it,” Rob agreed.  “So, she’s your Aunty, is she?”
”Yes,” Lucy said.  “And Daddy says she has big knockers.”  Abby gasped, closed her robe and went to the door, not looking out.

“Lucy!” she called.  “Come back in now.”
”I’m talking to Rob,” Lucy yelled back.

“Come back in!” Abby tried again.  Nothing happened.

“You’d better go,” Rob advised.  “You don’t want Aunty Abby to get mad.”
”Aunty Abby doesn’t get mad,” Lucy replied confidently.  “Aunty Abby loves me.”  Aunty Abby sighed.  And smiled.  Yes, she did, despite everything. 

 

“I saw her nuded,” Lucy added.  Abby’s smile disappeared.  That was it.

“Lucy, you come here RIGHT NOW!” she called out.  Nothing happened.  Right.  She couldn’t just stand here while Lucy went on like that.  She closed her gown firmly and walked out, doing her best to ignore the grin on her neighbour’s face.  He was hosing his garden, on the other side of the white picket fence that ran between their properties.

“This is Rob,” Lucy performed introductory duties with aplomb.
”I know Rob,” Abby replied.  “And you should call him Mr Harper, Lucy,”
”He said he was Rob,” Lucy objected. 

“It’s okay,” Rob assured them both. 

 

“We need to go inside now, Lucy,” Abby said.  She held out her hand, keeping the other one clamped over her robe.  Lucy shook her head, face mutinous and blonde curls bouncing.
”Don’t wanna,” she said.  “Me and Bozo wanna stay here and talk to Rob.”  Well that wasn’t going to happen.

“It’s okay,” Rob said again.  “I’ll keep an eye on them.” 

“Thank you, but no,” Abby said, which was exactly what she’d said both times he’d asked her to go out. 

 

Glancing over at him, she had to remind herself why.  He was tall and well-built, he had an open, friendly face and a cheeky grin, green eyes and an unruly mop of dark brown hair.  She knew he had a landscape design business, that he was thirty-two and unmarried.  It was just bad luck that he was living in the same house Neil had once occupied.  Unreasonable though it was, that made him unacceptable.  Neil had broken her heart in that house. 

 

“Come on, Lucy,” she said, wiggling her fingers.  Lucy ignored her.  With a sound of annoyance, Abby bent to pick her up, turning her back on Rob and reaching for her with both hands.  For once, she moved fast enough to catch her before she took off, but it was a near thing.

“You don’t have a bras on,” Lucy observed as she was picked up into her aunt’s arms.  Rob made a sound somewhere between a choke and a laugh.  Abby chose to ignore her.

“Where’s Bozo?” she asked, looking around.  “Oh good grief, where is he?”  She was looking everywhere.  There were too many places for a small puppy to hide in her back yard, with bushes and flowering shrubs everywhere. 

 

“He’s here,” Rob laughed, looking down the fence line.  “He’s found a hole under the fence and squeezed through.  Come here, Bozo,” he clicked his fingers and the little dog ran straight to him, something he hadn’t once done to Abby.  Rob picked him up. 
”You’re very cute,” he said.  Lucy laughed as she watched the puppy licking at Rob’s fingers.  Then she returned to the matter at hand.
”You don’t have a bras on,” she said again to Abby.

“Of course I do,” Abby snapped.  “Thanks, Rob.  I’ll take him now.”  It was only because she was reaching out with the hand that wasn’t holding Lucy on her hip that the little girl was able to do it.  Abby should have guessed that she would, though.  Lucy did not like being corrected. 

 

She wrenched at the sides of her aunt’s gown as Abby leaned forward, ripping them apart triumphantly.
”See?” she crowed.  “No bras!  You’re a fibber!”  Abby’s breasts bounced out, fully on display and almost impaled on the points of the picket fence.  Rob, after a quick, disbelieving look, did the gentlemanly thing and turned away, but he could do nothing to suppress the broad grin on his face. 

“Lucy!” Abby squealed, pulling the gown closed over her chest again.  “You don’t do that!”  Lucy’s face crumpled and for an instant looked as if she was about to let fly with tears.  She recovered.

“Daddy says you have big knockers,” she said for the fourth time that morning.  Rob had got his grin under control, but it almost escaped at that point.  He turned back, his eyes meeting Abby’s sympathetically.

 

“Knockers are breasts,” Lucy informed him seriously.

“I’ll try to remember that,” Rob said.  Abby did not trust herself to speak. 

“Joshua sucks on Mummy’s breasts,” Lucy went on. 

“Joshua is Lucy’s baby brother,” Abby felt that she had to say.
”I did wonder,” Rob said.  “Here,” he went on, lifting the puppy up to hand him over.  Abby tucked the loose edge of her thin robe under Lucy’s leg and reached out again to take him.

“Aunty Abby has teddy bears,” Lucy said, knowing that something was wrong and wanting to make amends.  “They’re really pretty.  Look.”  She bent double, almost braining herself on the fence, and yanked up the hem of the short gown.  “See?”  Rob, looking down automatically, did indeed see.  He didn’t, however, only see the embroidered dark blue, red and gold teddy-bears.  He saw what had been revealed by Lucy parting the robe from the waist down.  He didn’t see it for long, however, as Abby slammed her hand down to close it again.

 

Mortified, her face burning, she forced herself to meet his eyes again.  She glared, daring him to say something.  Just one thing about the carpet not matching the drapes, or her not being a natural blonde.  Just one thing, and she would kill him where he stood. 

“There’s not a jury in the land would convict you,” he said, his face straight but his green eyes full of laughter.  She wondered if he’d read her thoughts.
”Of what?” she asked.
”Murdering her,” he replied.  “Now, do you want to take her inside and come back for this little mop?”
”And leave her on her own?” Abby asked.  “Are you mad?  Do you know what she can do on her own?” 

 

“See, this one has a flower,” Lucy said, trying to drag the conversation and attention back to herself by dint of the embroidered teddy bear she was still clutching between her hands.  Abby had closed the gown, but Lucy was still holding the hem, displaying a lot more of Abby’s thigh than she was comfortable with, but nothing else, thank heavens.

“It certainly does,” Rob agreed, looking down, but not at the teddy bear that was being pressed against the fence for his edification.  Nice legs Abby had, he was thinking.  Very nice legs.  And a very, very thin gown.  He distracted himself by bending down and snapping a pink daisy off in his fingers.

 

“Here,” he said, presenting it to Lucy.  “For you.”  Lucy dropped the hem of the gown and reached for it, her blue eyes wide. 
”What do you say?” Abby said automatically.  She’d heard Claire say it so many times.

“Thank you,” Lucy said.  She took it, then pursed her lips.  Rob looked at Abby.

“She wants to give you a kiss,” Abby said.  She leaned in, as did Rob, and Abby planted her lips on his cheek in a loud kiss.  He took the opportunity the closeness afforded to pass Bozo to Abby, and when she stepped back, she had both little terrors firmly in her arms, their little warm bodies also keeping her robe closed.  Good, she thought.

“Thanks, Rob,” she said, turning away.  And that would have been it if two unexpected things hadn’t happened at once. 

 

Firstly, Bozo spotted the pink daisy clutched in Lucy’s hand and decided that it looked edible.  He lunged at it, trapping most of the petals in his mouth and claiming it as his own.  Lucy took an understandably different view of the situation and began smacking his nose and screeching at him to let it go.  With world war three erupting in her arms, Abby bent to put them down. This was when the second unexpected thing occurred.  The teddy bear-adorned hem of her gown, which had been held up for Rob’s inspection with such embarrassing results, had, as Lucy kissed him, slipped unnoticed between two of the pickets in the fence. 

 

As Abby turned and bent, it caught tight, wrenching the gown back and completely off her left shoulder when she dumped Bozo on the ground.  The ominous ripping sound as she put Lucy down as well did nothing for her composure, but she might have managed to retain some dignity if Bozo hadn’t sunk his little teeth into her bare foot at that point in time, making her stumble and fall to her knees, effectively stripping herself completely as the last shreds of the thin robe made their decision and clung to the fence instead of her.

 

The world stood still.  To Abby, everything, every sound, every colour appeared to be magnified.  She could hear the sound of the hose Rob was holding, she could hear Lucy shouting “No Bozo!  It’s my flower!  Give it back!” and the puppy growling and trying to sound as vicious as something less than six inches high could.  She could see the rich green of the grass under her knees, the pale skin of her thighs, the even paler skin of her breasts, bared and still jiggling from her fall.

“Are you all right?” Rob asked, breaking the spell.  Lucy looked up too.

“You’re nuded!” she announced, shocked.  “Rob can see your bottom, Aunty Abby!”

“I’m good, I’m fine,” Abby said, ignoring Lucy and keeping her back to him.  Yes, he could definitely see her bottom, but no way was she turning around.  Ever.  She might never actually move again.  It was too embarrassing.

 

“Aunty Abby, you’re nuded!” Lucy pointed out to her again, in case she’d missed it the first time.
”I know, Lucy,” Abby said.  “Can you hand me my gown, please?” 
”It’s torn to pieces, Abby,” Rob said.  “Here, hang on.”  She heard the sound of the hose stop, then saw something fly over her head.  It was dark blue.  His t-shirt. 

“Thank you,” she said gratefully, reaching for it.  Unfortunately, Bozo got to it first, catching it almost before it hit the ground and taking off with it.  Rob did laugh this time, unable to stop himself.  She heard the fence creak behind her and then saw him race past her, diving for the dog.  Doubling up and covering herself with her arms, she watched as Lucy joined in the chase.  Rob caught Bozo quickly, the weight of the t-shirt slowing the puppy down, and for good measure, he caught Lucy as well, scooping her up against him.  He walked back towards where Abby was crouched on the ground.  Bozo tumbled around at his heels, leaping up in an attempt to resume the fun t-shirt game.

 

Two steps away from her, Rob went to drop the t-shirt in front of her, but remembered the puppy in time. 
”Take Bozo for a run down to the back fence,” he said to Lucy as he bent down.  “I bet he runs faster than you do.”  Unable to resist that sort of heresy, Lucy took off as soon as her little feet touched the ground.  Rob rolled the t-shirt up in his hands, then bent lower still and pulled the neck over Abby’s head. 
”There, you can pull it down and put your arms through the sleeves,” he said, turning his back. 

“Thank you,” she said again.  “Now, just as a small, neighbourly favour, would you kill them both for me, please? Painfully?”  He laughed. 

 

“No harm done,” he said.  He turned back in time to reach down and take her hand, helping her to her feet.  His t-shirt fell to just above mid-thigh on her. 

“No harm done?” Abby repeated, incredulous.  She was having trouble meeting his eyes.  So far this morning, he’d seen her breasts, her pubic hair and her bottom, not to mention all of her curled up nude on the ground at his feet. 

“I’ve seen naked women before, Abby,” he said, still holding her hand.  He smiled as she looked up at him.  “Although not usually as pretty as you, and never with so little effort on my part, I have to admit.” 

 

“I won!” Lucy roared, running back towards them.  Given that Bozo was easily outstripping her in pace, this appeared to be a blatant lie, but neither of them called her on it.  “I’m thirsty now,” she added.

“I’ll get you a drink,” Abby said.

“I’ll get it,” Lucy said.  “I can get it, I can get it.”  She ran towards the laundry door, just barely avoiding the noxious pile where Bozo had disposed of the regurgitated soap.  There was a small stool just inside the door, and Lucy knew how to stand on it to get to the tap in the sink.  Nevertheless, Abby decided to follow her, if only to have an excuse to extricate her hand from Rob’s warm grip. 

 

“Thank you again,” she said, sliding her hand away.  He held on.

“My pleasure,” he said, grinning this time.  She narrowed her eyes at him, and then slowly took in the whole view.  His bare shoulders looked very broad, and his chest was tanned and muscular, undoubtedly from all of those hours of working outside digging up people’s gardens.  Just for an instant, Abby forgot that she was standing in front of him wearing nothing but a t-shirt.  His t-shirt. 

“When does Lucy go home?” he asked.
”Not soon enough,” she said tersely, provoking a laugh from him. 

 

She glanced up again, smiling wryly.  “This afternoon,” she said.  “My sister and her husband went out last night.  They took the baby because Claire is still feeding him.”
”I know,” Rob said.  “Lucy told me, remember?”  Abby rolled her eyes.  Very nice blue eyes, Rob thought to himself.  Dark blue eyes, just like her niece’s, set in a sweet, round little face not unlike Lucy’s either.  They had exactly the same pointed chins, small noses and determined expressions.

 

“A locked house is a safe house,” Lucy announced, walking back towards them purposefully.  Abby’s eyes narrowed again.  The back door was shut.

“Does Daddy say that?” she asked.  Lucy nodded importantly.

“Daddy taught me how to push the button in on the doors,” she said.  “Because that way naughty robbers can’t get in and take my toys.”  Abby caught her breath.

“Oh no,” she said.  “Lucy, sweetheart, tell me that you didn’t push the button in on that door before you shut it?”  Lucy looked confused.  This was obviously something she was praised for at home.

“A locked house is a safe house,” she said again, but with less conviction this time.

 

“I’ll bet you that t-shirt that she did,” Rob commented softly, laughter in his voice.  “Do you have a spare key outside?” 
”No,” Abby said tightly.

“Oh,” he said.  “Umm…does anyone else have a spare key?”

“Yes,” Abby replied.  “My sister.  Lucy’s mother.”
”So if you call her, she could bring that with her when she comes to get Lucy and Bozo?” he suggested helpfully.

“Yes,” she said, still in the same small, terse tone.  “And in the meantime, I will have to impose on your generosity and keep your t-shirt.  LUCY, GET OUT OF THAT!”  The bellow in her voice was enough to make Rob drop her hand and step back.  Lucy looked up, shocked, from where she had been poking a small stick into the mess Bozo had made earlier.  Her lower lip trembled. 

 

“Where is that puppy?” Rob asked, changing the subject fast.  “Bozo?”  Right on cue, there was an answering yip, and for a terrifying second, Abby thought it was coming from inside the house.  If that little furry fiend was in there by himself, she might as well just give up now and move.  There would be nothing left by the time Claire arrived.  Then she realised the bark had come from behind her.  She turned and groaned.  Bozo had found a garden gnome.  Quite an expensive garden gnome that had been a house-warming present from Neil when Abby had moved in four years before.  It had red hair, just like him, and a flower in his hand – just like he often had, the lying, two-timing creep. 

 

Bozo, showing good taste for once, had taken an immediate and intense dislike to the garden gnome.  He’d worried at the tip of its red hat for a little while, but was clearly not satisfied with the amount of damage he’d been able to cause.  Now, despite the fact that it probably outweighed him, he was managing to push it along the step it was resting on, his small nose and head being used as battering rams in this case. 

“Bozo!” Rob called out in a warning tone, but it was too late.  Neil’s gnome rocked on the edge of the stone step and fell, the clay breaking neatly at the neck.  Not content with having beheaded it, Bozo jumped on it and attempted to disembowel it.

 

“Bad boy, Bozo!” Lucy fussed, rushing towards him.  “Come here, Bozo.  Bad boy!”  Despite the censure in her tone, Bozo went to her, allowing her to pick him up in her usual fashion, with his small furry back against her small, warm front, his head and front paws trapped under her arms and the rest of his body dangling down. 

“I think you should all come over to my place,” Rob said.  “You can ring your sister there, and I can give you some sweats to wear instead of the t-shirt.”  Abby looked down.  The dark blue material wasn’t transparent, which was something, but the shirt was old and thin, and it certainly wasn’t covering much.

“That would be nice,” she said.  She looked up towards the front of her house and her heart sank.  She didn’t want to walk up there like this. 

 

“What’s the bet that Mrs Jamieson is out watering her front garden?” she said.  The neighbourhood busybody lived just across the road from them.  In the absence of real gossip, she made up her own.  The sight of that snooty Abby Millwood walking into her new neighbour’s yard wearing only a short, thin t-shirt, would send her into paroxysms of delight and a frenzy of phone calls.

“You haven’t paid up on the last bet yet,” Rob commented.

“What bet?” she asked.

“That Lucy had locked the door,” he said.  “I bet you that t-shirt.  You lost.”  He laughed at the look she levelled at him.

 

“Joke!” he said, raising his hands in surrender.  “Just a joke!”
Very funny,” she said, making it clear that she didn’t think so.  “It might be a joke if I hadn’t flashed you everything I’ve got already this morning.”
”I’m not complaining,” he assured her, almost looking serious.  Abby snorted.

“Lucy, Bozo, come here,” she called.  “We’re going over to Rob’s house.”  She looked up at the front again.  And sighed again.

“Could you lift them over the fence?” she asked.  “I’ll walk round, but if I take them with me, they might decide to take off down the road.  You’ve seen what they’re like.”
”I have,” he grinned.  He bent down and caught Lucy as she ran towards them, swinging her up easily into his arms.  She latched her own arms around his neck as he settled her.  Then he leaned down again and hooked one long brown hand under Bozo’s tummy and picked him up too.

 

“Over the fence with both of you,” he announced, heading that way in long strides.  “Careful now, I’m going to put you down first, Lucy, and then I’m going to hand Bozo to you. Why don’t you go pick yourself another daisy and make sure that Bozo doesn’t get into trouble.”  With that, he turned back and walked to Abby.

“Your turn,” he said, and before she could even protest, bent and swung her up into his arms, too. 

“Put me down!” she said, making up for lost time.  He shook his head, grinning as he walked back to the fence, holding her against his chest.

“You don’t want to face Mrs Jamieson,” he said.  “And you’re not dressed for climbing fences.  Up you go.”  He lifted her up higher so her backside cleared the pointy pickets, and leaned over to put her down on the other side.

 

Somewhat unsettled by the experience, Abby managed to take a step back before he took a firm hold of the top of the fence, sprang up and levered himself over in a smooth, fluid movement.  She envied his strength.  And his grace.  She couldn’t imagine him being systematically undressed by a four year old and a dog.  Although she wouldn’t mind imagining it, she had to say.  That was a very nice body.  She realised she was staring, and looked up to see him grinning again.

 

“Are those your nipples?” Lucy asked suddenly, from just to her right.  Bozo was trapped in her arms again.  Abby glanced down at the peaks trying to thrust through the front of Rob’s t-shirt.  She crossed her arms over them.
”No,” she said firmly.  Bozo, thankfully, chose that instant to wriggle free, dropping to the ground and taking off for freedom, Lucy in hot pursuit.

“Fibber,” Rob accused, his eyes dancing.  “Come on, let’s get Lucy and Bozo inside so I can get you some more clothes.”

 

It was easier said than done.  Lucy seemed to have the capacity to clone herself when she didn’t want to be caught, to the point where there seemed to be at least three of her.  To complicate matters, Bozo was able to put on bursts of speed that would have won him a place in the dog Olympics.  Fortunately, Rob, for some reason, seemed to find it fun, and within minutes he had them both, Lucy laughing and burrowing into his bare shoulder, tucked inside the arm he was holding her trapped with, while Bozo yapped abuse at him from his position tucked under his other arm. 

 

Rob had changed the house a lot, Abby noticed as soon as they walked in to the big, airy kitchen.  The bright, stark colours were gone, along with the modern furniture.  Now, the walls were soft and the fittings were more homey and old-fashioned.  She liked it.  Holding Bozo, she took the telephone Rob offered her and made the call to her sister, giving her a very sanitized version of the story.  Claire still found it hilarious.

“John has drummed the importance of locking doors into her so much,” she laughed.  “I’m not surprised she did that.  Oh, I’m sorry, Ab.  We’ll be there as soon as we can.” It had better be soon, Abby thought.  Then she looked around and realised Lucy had disappeared.

 

Before she had time to worry, the little girl reappeared, Rob behind her, looking a little uncomfortable.

“His willy is bigger than Daddy’s,” Lucy said.  Abby chewed her lips and looked up at Rob.

“I didn’t realise she’d followed me into the bathroom,” he said apologetically.  “Until I looked up and saw her staring intently.”  For the first time that morning, Abby laughed. 

“I have to work out how I’m going to explain all of this to Claire,” she said.  “Now, about those clothes?”

 

“First things first,” he said.  He walked over and turned the television on.  Lucy gravitated immediately to it, as if it were a magnet and she an iron filing.

“Claire doesn’t let her watch much television,” Abby said.  Rob raised his eyebrows in question.

“Is Claire here?” he asked.  Abby thought for an instant, then smiled, a dimple appearing in one of her cheeks, just like it did in both of Lucy’s. 

“No,” she said.

“Well, then,” he said.  “And now, Bozo.”  He pulled a blanket out of a cupboard, spread it on the floor, picked Bozo up and plonked him onto it.  Then picked him up again as he immediately escaped, and put him back down onto it again.  He pushed him into a lying-down position and stroked him. 

 

“Lucy,” he said.

“Hmmm?” she replied, not taking her eyes from the television set.

“I want you to pat Bozo, just like this, and see if you can get him to go to sleep,” Rob said.  He took her little hand and stroked it down Bozo’s back.  The puppy had already settled, was already poised for the instant drop into sleep that baby animals always seemed to have at their disposal.  Lucy’s hand mimicked the motion even as she focused all of her attention on to the antics of some strangely but brightly dressed creatures with squeaky voices on the television set. 

 

“You’re good,” Abby commented as Rob walked quietly away.  “I should have asked for your help last night.”
”You should have,” he agreed, smiling.  “Next time.”
There will never be a next time,” she said, shuddering.  “Never, ever, ever.  Not after this morning.”
”This morning has been great,” he corrected, leading the way down the hallway.  “One of my favourite mornings for a long time.”  She glared at his back, but didn’t respond.  Yes, from his side, it must have been quite enjoyable, really. 

 

She paused at the entrance to the main bedroom, but Rob kept going.  He heard her stop and looked back. 
”You don’t keep your clothes in your room?” she asked lamely. 
”Yes,” he grinned.  “But that’s not it.  That’s my office.”  He opened the door and let her see in.  He’d set up drawing boards in there, bookshelves, pictures of gardens and big, wall-sized plans. 

“Very nice,” Abby said, meaning it.  Her office at home was one of the smallest rooms, but she supposed a landscape designer needed more space than a bookkeeper. 

 

“You’ve been in here before, obviously,” Rob said, shutting the door.  “The house I mean, not the bedroom.”
”Yes to both,” Abby said simply.  There was an instant of silence.

“You dated Neil?” he asked.

“For two years,” she said.  “Before he decided that he’d gone through every female in the city and it was time to move to another city.”  The bitterness was gone now, she noted, not just from her voice, but also from her heart.  She’d thought she loved him, but although her experiences with him had put her off men for some time, her heart had managed to heal itself.  Finally.

 

“Is that why you won’t go out with me?” Rob asked, walking down to the next door and opening it.  “History repeating itself?”
Maybe,” she admitted, knowing it sounded silly.  “It seemed…awkward.” 

“More awkward than performing a slow striptease in front of me in the backyard?” he asked, a teasing look in his eyes.
”No,” she said.  “Not more awkward than that.  Thank you for reminding me.”
”Oh, no trouble at all,” he grinned.  “Here, let me get you some sweats.  They’ll be miles too big for you, but they’ll cover you, at least.  Unless you want shorts instead?”

“No,” Abby assured him.  “The bigger the better.”  His grin broadened, and he slid drawers open, pulling out a grey sweatshirt and some black sweatpants.

 

“There,” he said, throwing them on the queen-sized bed that occupied most of the room.  “And I’m sorry for teasing you.  I’m not sorry that it happened, but I shouldn’t make it worse.  You were obviously horribly embarrassed by it.”  He sounded sympathetic, with just a hint…she may have been mistaken, but just a hint of patronisation in his tone.  As if she was silly to have been embarrassed.  Well, we’d see about that. 

 

Without giving herself time to think twice, Abby reached down and tugged his t-shirt up and over her head.  She was rewarded by the look of surprise on his face, the way his green eyes blinked.  And blinked again.

“You’re right,” she said.  “I was horribly embarrassed.  Thank you for apologising.”  She handed him his t-shirt and walked naked towards the bed to pick up the sweats.  The walk took her right past him, and if he hadn’t looked down, all the way down to her feet, and slowly back up again to her face, she might have made it without blushing.  But she didn’t.  His face brightened as he grinned.  The whole room seemed to, in fact.

 

“Well done,” he said.  He looked down and up again.  He had made a point of not looking when it was an accident, but he was definitely appreciating the view now that it was deliberate.  “Very, very well done.  I’ll leave you to get dressed.”  He walked to the door.  Just as he reached it, he turned and looked back.

“By the way,” he said.  “Lucy’s Daddy is right.  And not just about locking doors.”  It was only after he’d shut the door that she looked down and realised what he was talking about. 

 

Her face still burning, she pulled the sweatshirt on over her head, rolling the sleeves up several times to get them clear of her hands.  Then she stepped into the pants and pulled them up.  They were at least eight inches too long for her, and she had to sit down on the bed and roll them up, too.  She left the room feeling like a little kid in adults’ clothing. 

 

She paused in the hallway.  Rob was sitting on the floor, his t-shirt back on now, Lucy on his lap, the puppy asleep beside him on the blanket.  He looked up and saw her.  And smiled.

“There’s room for another one of you in there,” he said, looking at the clothes.  “Want a cup of coffee?”

“Yes, but I’ll make it,” she said.  “You look very settled there.”   He stayed there, Lucy mesmerised by the television set, for almost an hour, drinking the coffee Abby had brought him and watching cartoon characters and singing groups, watching the little girl’s face as she stared at them, wide-eyed.  Occasionally, she’d turn to him to share her excitement at something.  Often, he’d look up to share his amusement at something with Abby, who’d curled up on the sofa with a book she’d found in his office.

 

“Still feeling awkward?” he asked quietly.  Abby looked up from the book and smiled.  Lucy’s head was heavy on his shoulder.  She was nearly asleep.

“No,” she admitted.  He smiled back.

“Pizza and a movie tonight?” he asked.  She pretended to consider it.

“All right,” she said.  His smile broadened, just as a loud knock sounded on the door.

“That’ll be your parents,” Abby said to Lucy.

 

“Mummy?” Lucy squealed.  “Mummy!”  She climbed out of Rob’s lap and went racing down the hallway, still in her pyjamas, her bare feet making huge thumps that belied her light weight.  Awakened by the noise, Bozo raced after her, barking loudly.

“Quick, turn the television off before Claire hears it!” Abby said.  Rob laughed and rolled to do so, then stood up and held out a hand to her.  As she stood, she stopped, frozen in place, as Lucy’s voice rang down the hallway:

“And Aunty Abby got nuded and Bozo threw up and Rob saw Aunty Abby’s bottom and Bozo broke a gnome and Rob’s willy is bigger than yours, Daddy and….”

 

“I am never having children,” Abby groaned.  Rob laughed and pulled her into his arms for a friendly hug, her head resting against his shoulder just as Lucy’s had. 
”I’ll remind you of that in a few years,” he promised.

 

 

The End